I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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