hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize