yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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