Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize