I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
