We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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