none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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