What did we do last night that was yellow?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize