I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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