K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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