Yo dont text me then not text me
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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