Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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