This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
