Just mADE A PArabola og urine
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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