just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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