He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Randomize
