i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
