Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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