The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
