i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
