did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize