i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
