I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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