haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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