I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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