Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
