Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
