At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Then you guys just all showered together...?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
