omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
