@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
