Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
