i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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