it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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