Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
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