you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
