We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
