I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
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