period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
