Yo dont text me then not text me
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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