You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
