she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
