How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
