Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
