I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
