who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
