Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
