we're blogging at a bar
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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