my phone needs a breathalizer
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
