I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
