Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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