haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
