I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
