i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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