We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
