sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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