so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
