WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
You are a genius and a whore.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
