I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
