If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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