that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
