Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
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