your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
