You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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