She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's shark week go big or go home
Sext me about skeletons
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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