My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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