take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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