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She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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